Be Still: Keep Calm and Meditate.
“If you don't have time to meditate for an hour every day, you should meditate for two hours.” ~Zen Proverb
Last week I attended the first class of a 10-week meditation course, beautifully named “Bringing the Mind Home”. This is the first time that I learn and practice meditation in a group setting, under the guidance of a teacher who is formally trained in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition.
One thing that stood out to me was the way the teacher spoke. Not just his words, but also his pace and rhythm. He spoke simply, softly, and slowly. Like when we play a video at half of the usual speed. When he explained a concept, he paused often between sentences, giving us a moment to absorb and connect with what he just said. He radiated calmness and clarity when he spoke, that I could feel my breaths and heartbeat slowing down in synchrony with the stillness in the room. It felt like as if he was meditating and teaching at the same time.
That 90-minute class was a stark contrast to what I have observed and experienced in everyday life.
Everywhere we go, people and cars are moving hastily with little space in between. Our smart phones and watches are pinging non-stop, alerting us about incoming messages, latest shopping deals, or another video going viral. Music or television is often playing so loud in restaurants and shops that we have to yell at each other to make conversations.
We live in a time of over-stimulation. Many of us cannot bear more than a few second of silence and doing nothing. The monkey mind hates to sit still and loves to gossip and criticise about everything.
At the start of the meditation class, I felt flustered and embarrassed because I was running a few minutes late, and the class had already started. I tried to settle quietly and pay attention to the teacher. The more I tried to calm myself down, the more restless I felt in my body. Like a floodgate that was swung wide open, allowing all kinds of unhelpful thoughts in my head: That I should have left home earlier then I would not have shown up late. That my right hips hurt, and I needed to stretch it when I got home. That my tinnitus was getting so loud that I could not hear. That I cramped too much in my schedule and I might have made the wrong decision to commit in a 10-week course.
In the midst of my worries and self-criticism, I noticed the teacher’s voice tapping my head like a Zen master’s keisaku (warning/awakening stick):
“When we focus on ‘something’, we lose sight of the present moment. Remember, we already have happiness. We can establish it for ourselves by looking after the mind.”
In that split second, I realised that I had been distracted by my monkey mind – trying to “fix” my mistakes and discomfort (being late, muscle tension, and tinnitus), forgetting my original intent for the present (to deepen my meditation practice), and missing out on the joy of collective learning. Once I became aware and after a few deep breaths, I was able to reset and redirect my full attention to the rest of the class.
When we pause and allow things to flow, self-organise, and evolve, we would find that many of our problems are not really problems. People or situations become troublesome only when we get attached to past memories or future outcomes, and in-between, we lose sight of the obvious in the present.
Because everything is connected, everything changes moment by moment. It is impossible to control every condition and predict every outcome in the multitude of complex systems. Rather than letting our ego lead the way, we can choose to hold everything lightly and see people and situations through a new lens each and every time.
Meditation is the key. It is so simple that it can be done anywhere, anytime.
Slow down. Pause and be still. Follow the rhythm of our breaths. Turn our focus inward. Notice any sensations, thoughts, and feelings, acknowledge them as they are, let them come and go. Contemplate with compassion and intention. In doing so, we create a space between an observation and a reaction, training the mind to pause, discern and choose the best possible action as we go about our everyday life.
Through introspection in silence and stillness, we develop a deep understanding of our mind and true nature. We learn to appreciate the value of impermanence and selflessness of all things. We cultivate love, kindness and abundance for ourselves and others as we navigate our crazy, messy, and wobbly human experiences.
(In case you are not sure about how to meditate, watch this delightful TED talk by Yougey Mingyur Rinpoche 👇)