Begin Again
On starting a new year with a new intention
I spent the first three days of 2024 in a little cottage nestled on the Sunshine Coast hinterland in Gubbi Gubbi Country.
It had been months since I spent days in solitude, in silence, in slowness.
Sometimes I sat on the deck, watching rain drops twirl in the wind; counting the different shades of green in the garden; listening to the birds, frogs and cicadas singing in harmony.
Sometimes I paced back and forth, from the kitchen sink to the bathtub, trying to alleviate the feeling of restlessness, disorientation, and tiredness that lingered within.
Sometimes I reclined on the day bed sipping herbal tea from a vintage ceramic mug; reading books and old journal entries; pondering the year just passed; wondering the year to come.
During the first two days, I kept asking myself: After a year of connecting the dots, what is my intention for 2024? What do I want to commit to? What do I want to focus on?
Many words and images surfaced and streamed in my head like Instagram reels – vivid, shiny, and fast – and yet nothing resonated. All I could sense was the voidness within my chest and abdomen. As if my heart and gut went in hibernation, ignoring my frantic, disorganised mind, and reminding me the true answer would emerge from the somatic body (and not the thinking mind) when I need it.
Here’s the paradox: The harder we try to look for something, the less likely we are going to find it.
From the moment we become attached to our own preconceptions, we stop seeing things as they are. Instead, we start to perceive things through the lens of our expectations, desires and biases. Not only we drift further away from the truth, but also lose sight of the beauty, joy and infinite possibilities surrounding us.
In Baba Ram Dass’s words –
“It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.”
“The most exquisite paradox… as soon as you give it all up, you can have it all. As long as you want power, you can't have it. The minute you don't want power, you'll have more than you ever dreamed possible.”
On the last day of my farm stay, sunshine sprinkled glitters all over the rain-soaked garden. All the fruit trees, vegetables and herbs seemed to have grown taller and greener after a few days of heavy rain. The owner’s 16-year-old terrier also came over from the main house to say hello.
As I was packing to leave, I looked around the cottage and thought, “How wonderful it is that someone decided one day to create this cozy, charming space for people to unwind from the daily grind and re-connect with nature.”
For a split second, something clicked. I heard in my head something that Berry Liberman said in the trailer of the Wisdom and Action podcast –
“Wisdom without action is useless. Action with wisdom is dangerous.”
After spending all of last year on making connections within and without, it is time to integrate my learnings and experiences, and leap into conscious action.
For this year of 2024, my intention is to create.
Create a good life for myself and my family.
Create time and space for rest, play, nourishment, learning and connection.
Create with my head, heart and hands aligned.
Create with love, compassion and respect.
Create freely and courageously, like nobody is watching.
Create mindfully and responsibly, as for everything we do carries both light and shadow.
Create new narratives to ignite active hope and inspire radical change.
Create to be of service and share generously with others.
A friend asked me recently how I manifested my intention last year.
My first thought was, “I don’t know what happened. I did not write any goals down. All I did was choosing a word that felt right and holding it as a guiding light for the year. Somehow people and events started to emerge and take me to places where my wishes became the reality.”
The more I reflect on my own experience, the more I realise that manifestation is not about making a list of resolutions every year and then willing (or forcing) ourselves to improve and strive – just because some arbitrary external standards say so.
When something does not manifest, it does not mean we are lazy or a failure. Maybe it is simply not the right time yet as we have other priorities. Maybe we need to experiment different approaches. Maybe whatever we wish for is not meant to be and that we are destined for something different.
I love what Lin Jensen writes in Wash Your Bowl: “You and I don’t manifest in the universe as meaning, we manifest as living human beings. We’re not here to represent something else. We’re here in our own right. A human being, or a garden hoe for that matter, is complete in itself.”
Manifestation is about leaning into our feelings and honouring our truth. The feeling of deep yearning that comes from our heart and gut. The feeling of “everything makes perfect sense”. The feeling of our whole being coming alive, getting an injection of light and energy and also a sense of calm purposefulness.
Every DNA and cell in our body already know what we are here to do – we are here to become our true and aligned self and live an authentic human experience. Our job is to go inward, make friends with our heart, and commit to inner mastery.
Manifestation is also about surrendering, not only to the Universe, but also in our actions. Believe that we are all fundamentally good. Respect the interdependence of all things. Be grateful for our breaths every day. Act with integrity. Nurture relationships with other people and beings. Ground our purpose in service. Make the world a better place for all.
Because life is a gift, a vessel for transformation, and a path to pure consciousness.
I don’t know where I am going in 2024 and where I will land (yet) – and I trust that it is going to be another epic year of discovery, adventure, learning and growth. All I am going to do now is to start creating, with what I have, where I am, toward another new beginning.
FOR A NEW BEGINNING by John O’Donohue
In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.
For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.
It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.
Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.
Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life’s desire.
Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.
I loved this, Bonnie! Thank you for sharing your heart and wisdom with us. I was secretly hoping you would share your experience at this lovely place 😍 wishing you all the best in 2024, wherever it takes you, I'm sure it will be magical!
What a wonderful way to spend the beginning of 2024, Bonnie. Thank you for sharing your story with us.