The world feels more divided and conflicted than ever.
Authoritative regimens persist their attempts in dissolving the foundation of peace, freedom and democracy. Right-wing conservatives and left-wing progressives lock horns in political culture wars. Elected officials betray public trust over and over again with their action or inaction out of personal interests.
The gap of wealth inequality is widening. As many executives have remuneration increased by over 100 percent this year and corporate companies report record-breaking profits, the average workers receive minimal pay rise and struggle to keep up with the rising cost of living.
Fossil fuel companies continue to do everything to drive extraction and consumption of non-renewable energy. On the other hand, grassroot movements gain momentum in advocating for climate equity, justice, and sustainability.
Big tech companies and mainstream media prioritise money, agenda setting and sensationalism. Facts often get sunken to the deep sea as misinformation spreads like wildfire. Independent publications and persons that choose to speak truths often become a target of vitriolic attacks.
Dissension and antipathy are everywhere – online and in real life. Monarchist versus republican, pro-life versus pro-choice, science versus pseudo-science, and the list goes on. Some people believe that they are always right and fight relentlessly against anything that does not align with their views. Some people get overwhelmed by debates and contentions, so they retreat into avoidance, indifference, or conformity.
Everything – time, people, events – seems to move in acceleration and more unpredictably that it is getting harder to tell what’s right/real and what’s wrong/fake anymore.
For a long time, I found the state of our world unsettling and confusing. I used to be one of those people who avoided discussing controversial or touchy topics. I lacked self-confidence, worried about being wrong, and feared confrontation. All I wanted was everyone to get along and that we go about our lives amicably.
Then Donald Trump was inaugurated as the 45th president of the United States.
It was a pivotal moment when I realised the fragility of democracy and freedom and how naive and irresponsible of me choosing to be a disengaged bystander. I joined Twitter as the first step to educate myself on contentious issues and observe how people present their arguments, develop my tolerance for conflicts.
After watching strangers debate online for several years, I have come to appreciate polarity and the liminal space in between.
Polarity is a continuum holding two opposing yet interdependent sides together. One can only exist only with the presence of the other. Light and darkness. Beginning and ending. Inhale and exhale. Like a pendulum, polarity is ongoing and dynamic, swinging from one side to another in perfect momentum.
Matias De Stefano offers a simple explanation:
“[Imagine] you have in the room a light [on one side] and you put yourself in the centre [of the room]. As you [get closer] to the light, the shadow behind you will [become] bigger…And as close as you get to the main point of the light…darkness will [surround] you. The light and the darkness are just projections…the only way you can see both is in the centre. If you go [toward] the light or go [toward] the [darkness], one of those will embrace you and then you will lose one of those perspectives…these two forces create realities.”
Polarity holds the positive (light) and negative (shadow) sides in balance. It is neither good nor bad. It exists to help us see and experience the reality through many perspectives. The tension of push and pull between two sides is not a problem to be solved, but rather a natural flow of energy that fuels learning, growth, and transformation.
How can we turn polarity into infinite opportunities?
Practise mindfulness
Before we can leverage the polarity around us, we need to understand the polarity within us. By paying full attention to the present moment – the in and out breaths, the task on hand, or the person we are talking to – and noticing any thoughts, feelings, or sensations arising without judgement or being carried away, we anchor and sharpen our mental focus. Through mindfulness practice, we become aware of how our experiences, beliefs and biases may influence how we perceive the reality. The more we understand ourselves, the more we are able to hold space for and manage tensions with clarity and objectivity.
Practice compassion
Recently I listened to Helena Norberg-Hodge talking about how to re-build communities for the next economy. She said that, to drive radical changes, we need to “go hard on the systems and soft on the people” – as challenges facing humanity today are not the fault of individuals, but rather collective behaviours driven by outdated institutions, systems, and frameworks. By centring compassion within, we expand our capacity to listen deeply and embrace alternative views with an open mind. When we engage with people from different backgrounds, we start to recognise the shared humanness beneath the differences. All of us want the same things – safety and security, a sense of belonging and love, and self-actualisation. The more we understand and respect each other, the more we cooperate and work through issues for collective benefits.
Practice the beginner’s mind
Conflicts arise when we become attached to certain ideas and forget (or refuse) to adjust our views based on new or updated information. Polarity, like everything, changes constantly in response to different contexts. The beginner’s mind frees us from presumptions and prejudgements and enables us to see things with a fresh pair of eyes each and every time. When we embody a child-like curiosity, we become more adaptive to ever-changing conditions and also more flexible and creative with managing paradoxes and uncertainties.
(If you want to learn more about polarity thinking, check out this article 👉Polarity Thinking 101: An Introduction to the Power of Polarities by Kyle Kowalski.)
“Respecting differences while gaining insight into our essential connected-ness, we can free ourselves from the impulse to rigidly categorize the world in terms of narrow boundaries and labels.” ~Sharon Salzberg
Beautiful, Bonnie. The pendulum of the polarities- once embraced, some of the stress of 'judging' falls away. More compassion for everyone around can open minds. Beautifully written, i love the depth of your thinking.