In a few days, I will be flying to Bhutan.
The first time I travel overseas since October 2019.
On my last trip, I spent a month in Europe, celebrating my 40th birthday in advance. Getting lost in art galleries and museums. Indulging in Michelin-starred meals. Daydreaming in old towns and castles. Life was going pretty well and looking up, I thought.
And then COVID-19 pandemic happened.
A pivotal time that changed the course and trajectory of everything.
All of a sudden, we were thrusted out of inertia and then plunged into the unknown without a safety net.
We were afraid and anxious about what might happen to us, our family, and our community.
We were forced to take a hard look at ourselves, how we had been sleepwalking through life and taking too many things for granted – safety, comfort, convenience, and all that could not be quantified by the dollar sign.
Many of us were finally waking up from the illusion of independence and control and remembering the truth of interdependence and release.
The pandemic, to me, was an ultimatum from the Universe / God / higher force.
The Earth is shifting and reorganising itself in preparation for metamorphosis.
This is our final call to action – that we must prune old trees, rewild the land, and plant new seeds for humanity’s future.
It is now or never.
Whether we know / like / want it or not, everything is changing.
The process is going faster and more intense, in the form of extreme climate and other natural events, wars and conflicts in deadlock, global rise of authoritarianism, mutation of AI technology, widening divide between the rich and the poor, and more.
Now we are faced with the ultimate choice:
Do we want to be changed in blissful ignorance, or at least, try to be the change we want to see despite the painful truth?
There is no right or wrong in either of the choices. Our experience, our choice.
But here’s the catch: No matter what we choose, we have no control over what will happen next.
It may work in our favour, or it may not.
All we can do is to show up, give our best shot, and surrender.
Then we do it, again and again, until the day we die – trusting that every event in our lives truly occurs for no other reason than our betterment and evolution.
“All great changes are preceded by chaos. The disruption we see in the world is the prelude to emergence.” ~ Deepak Chopra
Many people ask me about this upcoming trip: How are you feeling? Are you excited? Why Bhutan?
And I say all the right things: I really look forward to it. It is going to be amazing. Always wanted to go there to experience their traditional culture and learn more about Gross National Happiness.
While I mean what I say, I am not feeling any excitement or anticipation like I used to.
This trip has a different energy.
It does not feel like a holiday at all.
When the pandemic grounded me in the confine of home and work, I recognised my insatiable urge to travel and indulge in finer things was merely a glamourous mask.
One that I used to convince myself that I was living a great life and having it all; to numb the feeling of stagnation and exhaustion from living a life of conformity; to shield myself from my insecurity, fear, shame, guilt, and resentment.
The lockdown took away noises and distractions, pushing me to face my shadow, examine all the choices I made, and start making different ones.
My relationship with travel has since changed.
I no longer feel the compulsion to travel for travel’s sake.
Because I have finally found peace within – a sense of acceptance about the past, contentment in the present, and hope for the future.
I want my travel to be the container for marinating change ideas, deepening connections within and without, and letting my creative inner child roam free.
This trip to Bhutan feels more like a rite of passage –
…to stretch my comfort zone and climb the real and metaphorical mountains in front of me.
…to mark the end of my origin story and the birth of a new one.
…to deliberate the ultimate questions: Who am I? Why am I here? What am I here to do?
…to honour the past, give thanks to the present, and surrender to the future.
…to co-create a sacred experience with like-minded, like-hearted fellow travellers.
As I get closer to the departure date, I am swinging gently like a pendulum through the depth and richness of human emotions.
Trusting. Connected. Grateful. Inspired. Curious. Relieved. Nervous. Worried. Anxious. Sad. Grief.
I do not know what awaits me on this journey.
I do not know where I will land at the end.
I do not know how life will flow and evolve afterward.
All I know is I will come back changed.
“If you surrender to uncertainty, nothing goes wrong.” ~ Deepak Chopra
Beautiful Bonnie,
easy travel and discovery to you💛 can’t wait to read about yiur journey.
Enjoy your trip Binnie. A friend og mine was in Bhutan earluer this year and loved it!